Instagram is either a place where dreams come true, or it’s your worst nightmare.
Hour after hour spent scrolling across anything (or not) that takes your fancy. Fashion, food, fitness. Animals doing all sorts of adorable things and memes- you’ll be there for days. All sorts take to Instagram. Everyone’s represented there.
One sub class and culture that are making themselves known across the platform, are what I like to call, “The Evangelical Foodies”. There are a few of them out there, each with varying degrees of self- righteousness and enthusiasm.
Here are a few of my personal favourites.
The Wellness Crusaders
Their accounts are usually packed full of impressive (mostly beachside) shots. Often featuring these individual’s contorting themselves into all sorts of yoga positions. Accompanied by a #namaste or #blessed hashtag.
Don’t get me wrong. I am by no means having a crack at anyone who enjoys yoga and a good smoothie, go crazy I could care less.
However, it is when these type of accounts venture into “foaming at the mouth, speaking in tongues, evangelical preacher” territory, I get a little wary.
A little inspiration to eat better and move more is by no means a bad thing. When people are emulating or (adopting) lifestyle “advice” from people who are in no position to be giving it, or selling this “way of life” to me, I get sceptical.
Do we need to bring up that elephant in the room again Belle Gibson? Actually, the less said about that woman the better!
https://instagram.com/p/6gsEHvTg9N/?taken-by=emdeemee
The Amateur Food Blogger
Enough already! We have officially reached saturation point. Having a smart phone and making a reservation on Dimmi does NOT make you a food blogger. I repeat, you are not a professional food critic! At best you can call yourself a “food appreciator”.
What really grinds my gears is their insistent over-saturation (and endless noise) all about the same 5 places they end up at. In turn blogging about it all in lieu of a free feed! What’s more, they smugly lump themselves in with the skilled creative bloggers, holding themselves in the same regard, when in fact it’s these creative kinds that really are worth their weight in (Celtic Sea) salt.
If you’re friends with one of these people, decline a dinner invitation if you’re expecting to spend quality time! You just KNOW it’s so they can take a whole bunch of (poorly lit) pictures of dishes they’re going to describe as ‘unctuous’ or ‘scrummy’. Friends sit patiently (and hungrily) wondering, why “Can’t we eat our fucking dinner already?!”
https://instagram.com/p/8DNuG3zg51/
Bandwagon Jumpers
Don’t get in the way of these wide-eyed, generally very hungry people. They’ve just discovered the light. They often cross over into the Wellness Crusaders category, such is their zealous joy at spreading the word. What are these said topics of gospel? Brothers and sisters, it can be anything from paleo/sugar free/vegan/freegan/flavour free/ fat free/ high carb/ no fat.
They love to write lengthy posts proclaiming “Oh my lord! I just can’t believe I dared live a breath before I discovered and found our dear saviour (insert snake oil salesman of the food realm here). They’ll be bleating on and on at you, “that if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop what you are doing right this minute and buy everything(insert Fearless Leader’s name here) has ever written, BECAUSE CAN’T YOU SEE JUST HOW GREAT MY LIFE IS ALREADY?!”
https://instagram.com/p/4VL5GRTg5h/?taken-by=emdeemee
Now we’re left with a bunch of confused Millennials who follow too many Wellness Crusaders on social media – and subsequently have NFI what to put in their gobs.
Wanting to do better for you isn’t any kind of issue. I’m not pro health or food. Wanting to give yourself the best chances at health and happiness should be applauded.
But for crying out loud, don’t swallow every mouthful of chia seed/chlorophyll/spirulina that gets shoved down your throat (or if you do decide to do so, do it privately already).
*Disclaimer – I reserve all of the above rights to the accompanying photos. I’m a firm believer that one shouldn’t make fun of others until they’ve had a long hard look at themselves. This was truly a revelation of my character and instagram posting habits. I calmed myself down with a green smoothie and an Artisanal slice of 8 grains, hand kneaded Spelt.
Marissa