You’ve likely heard the term in one way, form shape or another. My term might be the more direct; essentially what we’re getting at here is what happens when you mix business and pleasure. What happens when you/we partake in workplace “relations”?
I’ll be the first to put my hand up and say that I’m certainly a serial offender. I’ve had work relationships in the past, I even met my hubby at work. While it had its advantages (sharing a taxi home, getting whatever I wanted for dinner, having jobs jumped in the queue or someone to stick up for me when I mouthed off ), there are also some massive disadvantages to work place relationships. Let’s discuss what happens when the heaps horny vibes cross the line!
Yes it can be fun, yes it can be exciting, particularly in the infancy of a relationship. A quick interlude in the back storeroom or an afterhours “business meeting” in the boardroom may keep things spicy, but when things go south (and I don’t mean literally here), more so when the relationship sours. When you’re both still involved in a business capacity shit can have a tendency to get awkward.
Given we spend a large percentage of our hours in a day and our lives in the workplace, we form relationships and connections with those around us. It’s also why work place affairs are more commonplace than they should be. You can form connections and feelings with those you spend up to 8 hours a day with, 5 days a week. You vent about your colleagues around the water cooler or sharing a quick ciggy out back, or celebrate new client acquisition. You console each other if the boss has blown up and you. See so many milestones and moments shared. Tread with caution dear reader though, if there’s an open bar tab at the work Christmas party. This is when things can get dangerous!
When you add alcohol to the equation,” those feels ” seem to emerge. You’re out of your polyester work clothes and wait a minute, ” did she do something different to her hair”? I’ve seen some of the most disciplined and loyal people fall from grace; finding it hard to fight those heaps horny vibes.
I’ve worked for some of the most (un) professional operators around. I’m not easily shocked, but whoa Nelly! There have been quite a few times though, even I’ve been at a loss for words. Enter the company Christmas party! Everyone arrives at the start of the night, classy and well dressed. A change from their boring uniforms, and that moment you realise exactly which of the staff work you work with have a smoking hot body!
The start of the night is civilised, normal and quite nice, however it’s as though come close to 10 pm something shifts in the cosmos. It’s like an eerie darkness envelopes the room; a glint forms in people’s eyes, loins stir and the sexual predator within awakens. It’s at this point in the night, I rally up my direct reporting staff members and tell them quite sternly “we’re leaving” or “we’re getting the f*ck outta here”. No woman is left behind! I ensure they’re safely in a cab on their way home ( and also make sure they don’t to sneak back in). GOT or a Roman orgy have nothing on what’s about to unfold here.
Walking into work the next day is always interesting. I’m certain that for most/ if not all of the day productivity is at an all-time low. Everyone’s swept up in gossiping about what happened after they left, and who shacked up with whom. Who pashed on? Who got into a fight? Who no longer has a job? There’s a lot of laughter, shocked faces and profanity exchanged and not to mention all the “Wtf” moments.
Inside your head you’re high fiving yourself for leaving early; getting the hell outta there and taking my team in tow! You knew that it would get crazy, and you knew that you would be right about the debauchery that would unfold. You listen on, not passing judgement out loud, but inside you’re really not t as shocked as you ought to be. Self as drunk as you were, you did good to run, run away!
Here’s what happens when you play up at the party. People change their perception of you, you inherit a nickname (which is said only behind your back) and your position(s) with the company has changed. Any shred of respect or self-decency you exhibited previously has since been compromised. (though there have surely been high fives in your honour) It can get become awkward and uncomfortable in the workplace. Don’t think for a minute, that I’m a being a prude by any means. I’m all for inter office love and fornication, I really am. Just let there be saved for another time and place, preferably not in the disabled toilets where everyone can see you.
When a break up occurs, there can be loads of emotions involved. Fact! Seeing you’re now insignificant other can make things uncomfortable; you the both of you or those you work with. You’ll find mostly, everyone’s waiting for there to be a blow up of apocalyptic proportions. They’re waiting in the wings, on standby with their phones. At the ready hoping this toxic exchange they’ll likely capture will go viral and explode online. We’ve all been in the presence of “that couple” or “those people”. I can think of 10 people off the top of my head that are wild and disruptive and create drama or cause a scene wherever they go.
On the other hand, I’ve seen couples who are business partners/ co-workers, work effectively and efficiently co exist in perfect harmony. There have been some I’ve not even realised are a “thing”. They’re obviously savvy in business and able to keep things separate and professional! God I loathe these people! I suspect they’re robots!
I’d imagine balance, professionalism and a healthy dose of reality keeps these people on the straight and narrow and in check. They likely have set in place some rules, a code of conduct and maybe some guidelines. Maybe a safe word? Remembering first and foremost the priority is business, and at all times they’re respectful and the focus is on both parties career!
So what’s your story? Are you “that girl” at the Christmas party? Are you the boss with a penchant for collecting your PA’s panties? Or do you avoid everyone within the work place at all costs? Making eye contact with Joe from Accounts is the forbidden fruit or never accept cookies from Sandy in Sales? We’d love your intel and advice.
Chrissy