Because as much as we all love sugar, it’s bad for us and we know it!

I’ve never really been one to mince my words. I’m pretty direct, straight to the point and somewhat impatient. Given how busy my life and career are, and so I can effectively multi task, manage and maintain my productivity, I want to get from point A t o point B the most direct way possible. I’m not interested in buying the souvenir t-shirt, or checking myself in. Please just give me what I want, when I need it, so I can smash out the task at hand and get onto the next. It makes me a far more efficient worker, and I assure you I can run circles around what most others can achieve within the same allotted time frame. It’s how my brain functions and to date it’s served me well.

Consistently throughout my employment career, I’ve been pulled into the office for a “chat” or reprimanded because my emails are “too direct” or my “tone wasn’t appropriate”. Point blank, I’ve been told I need to add in more pleasantries, ask “how their weekend was”, that for each individual I corresponded that I had to add sunshine and rainbows to my interactions and “sugar coat” my somewhat too direct self. “Play more into their personality and ego”, “manipulate them to get what you want” or “maybe have someone else ask them”. So many games to play, and too many hoops to jump through, I just wanted to do my job, and well.

Given I’ve worked for multiple venues, that’s a lot of people to interact with, and just as many egos. I seriously should have bought shares in CSR! Which brings me to my point of this blog; is sugar coating the Diabetes of the working world and would it serve us well to minimise it in our business doings or eliminate it completely?

Now I don’t want to sound arrogant or condescending, but any business or organisation would be happy to have me. They often realise this when myself and often my team leave. There’s a lot of “Oh but that’s not how Chrissy used to do it” going on and though they’d likely not admit it to my face (though several actually have). Ah bless, my legacy lives on. True story!

I like to think that most of the time correspondence should be like that movie “The Invention of Lying”, where no one lied, called a spade a spade and just didn’t have a bullshit filter. I’m not saying be mean, malicious, hurtful or vindictive, I’m in no way like that at all, quite the contrary and always wanting to help others,. Giving credit where credit is due.

I form meaningful, genuine business relationships (and often friendships) with the majority of those I work with, which I enjoy and value a lot. Those who don’t like me initially generally wind up being my good friends, or despise and or feel threatened by me. They know I see through the inferior job their doing and I’m not afraid to call them out on their bullshit. I’m a fixer upper; I get called in to make things run like a well-oiled machine. I get results.

I can assure you that by taking a more direct approach (while it won’t be for everybody) does and work. Here are some reasons why.

You know where you stand
There is no doing your own head in, wishing or wondering or living in an uncertain environment. You know what’s expected, can get on with the task at hand or move on. Mind games, uncertainty and undue stress aren’t good for anyone. Remember people aren’t mind readers!

You can schedule and plan more efficiently
There’s nothing worse than waiting or relying on someone else when you’ve a task or project to deliver. At least when it’s just you, if you don’t get something done it’s no one’s fault but your own. If there is going to be a delay, a hold up or an issue, just say so, so then anyone else involves can plan or schedule accordingly or assist. I hate nothing more than excuses being made for the sake of. Be accountable!

There’s no room for misinterpretation
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. It is what it is, so just say so! Often I compare this dating. “Does he like me?, Doesn’t he like me?, Did I say the right thing”. We all know how tricky, complicated and draining this can be. It’s work! Stop being coy and just call it for what it is. *Oh but if you’re ever asked “Does my bum looks fat in this” or “Have I gained wait” in this circumstance I suggest it’s is an ok time to lie!!

You’ll likely have a better working relationship
When there’s transparency with communication, circumstance and within a situation, people tend to become more comfortable and trusting. Ego’s fall to the wayside, defense mechanisms are disarmed and hey you might even share a laugh or inside joke. You can get to building a rapport, working together to achieve a common goal and accomplishing loads more I assure you.

When you’re more direct in your communication things are generally much better. I’ve worked in environments where things were really uncomfortable and toxic (all because people didn’t say what they were thinking, or were more interested in playing petty, ego fueled games). Eventually things would come to a head. Passions would erupt like that of an on the brink volcano. I can assure you that at times the screaming can be cathartic; it was never fun or enjoyable for anyone.

I’m glad I identified this behaviour in others and no longer work with people like this anymore. Personally it was very bad for my health, but any sane person must know that a business founded on such poison and bad behaviour can’t be sustained. Friends, don’t drink the Koolaid or get entwined into all the unnecessary bullshit and sugar spinning.

Remember to take care of the people that work with you; reward good behaviour, encourage input and feedback. Create an open door policy and be approachable, not feared. This is what builds a positive and fruitful team environment not any of the above.

Oh and in case you’re now too scared to email or message me, please don’t think that’s the case. I love and live for banter and small talk, and I’m a super chatty Cathy. I love to talk, (I know you’re shocked to read this, me too), I love knowing about what’s going on with others and I thrive on sharing ideas, information and experiences. I’m known for my essay length emails (and replies) which are reminiscent of passing notes in class. I still practice the ancient art of handwritten letters and I love the art of communication, so don’t think I’m a hater or be turned away.

More so, what I’m saying is that everything has a time and a place. Focus more on being you and actually verbalising what needs to be said. If more people did this rather than just thought it, there would be far less drama going on in the workplace and in general everyday life. We all know sugar is bad for us (even though we love it and it’s so damned delicious), but know when to ditch some and lighten your daily intake!

If you like what I’ve written, feel free to share it, or if you’ve comments, feedback or your own personal accounts and advice, I’d love to hear them.

Thanks for reading

Chrissy