I’ve just returned from nearly a month in Thailand. This year has been a big one in travel for me, as I was a little slow off the mark when it came to exploring the globe.
Make no mistake. This blog is no self-indulgent “Eat Pray Love” missive.
Instead, here are 7 things this trip taught me.
- When you think you can’t possibly sweat anymore…you’ll sweat again.
Bring at least three different kinds of deodorant. The first two won’t cut it. You’ll find sweat pooling in places you weren’t sure even collected sweat. You’ll find yourself leaping into any space with air conditioning with pathetic levels of gratefulness. Local people will try not to laugh at your sweaty, flustered face. Accept it now. - If you see anything that has ‘spicy’ next to it on the menu; don’t be a hero. Anyone who has visited SE Asia can attest to this. They don’t fuck around. If you “think “you like “spicy” food in Australia, you are a deluded fool! OR you aren’t as much of a pussy as me. You can learn your lesson the hard way. Which for a few days post spice, you’re no further than a 5 meter sprint from a bathroom. Where you relive (again) everything you bravely stuffed into your ignorant gullet, flaming out with the vengeance of seven different hells.
- Patience, patience, patience. I am an impatient wench at the best of times. Walk too slowly in front of me in Sydney, and I will be consumed with the impatience of 12 virgins on formal night. Spending 6 days on an island where just about everyone moved at the speed of an injured caterpillar, tested my patience to its limit and then some. Eventually, I found myself ambling about at a pace Sydney Marissa would have lapped four times (in an indignant fury none the less). Slowing down is something everyone should do. Unless I’m behind you in the street. You’ve been warned.
- This is what happens when you drink those diabetes-disguised-as alcoholism nightmares kids call ‘Buckets’
- You will finally stop and appreciate just how truly wonderful doing nothing is.
I find it near impossible to do nothing, and not feel guilty about it. Learning to indulge your inner sloth because you can is a glorious thing. Phi Phi Island has a finite selection of activities. You can swim, eat, sleep, read, snorkel, scuba dive or drink excessively. That’s about it. Instead of running screaming to schedules, itineraries and civilisation, I hunkered down and let myself relax for once. Highly recommended. - You will see some shit.
Admittedly, and shamefully, I insisted on paying for the privilege of watching projectiles fly from someone’s orifice. I thought the whole experience couldn’t possibly have gotten any weirder until a topless dancer rested her hand on my thigh and exclaimed “Honnnn-eeey! You so white! You white like the table!” A passionate discussion about her breasts, and the price point which she had purchased them at ensued. End scene. - You will enjoy yourself, and have all the cheesy holiday feels and learn some stuff along the way.
As with most travel, you’ll end up lost, disorientated and looking like a sweaty berk (which is all part of the fun) Nothing beats being thrown in the deep end; especially if you haven’t the faintest idea how to speak the language. You’ve got no choice but to figure it out. Things you take for granted- like meal times become something to languish over, and savour.
There is no greater joy when you realise your biggest decisions of the day entail which beach or pool to spend the day at, or what you’re going to have for lunch. Seeing the reactions of others as they take in a sunset, or eating doughnuts by the beach. It’s a beautiful thing to watch pure joy and happiness wash over another person’s face, and to see them be helplessly consumed by that happiness.
My heart shattered when I learned Bangkok had been bombed. I was on Phi Phi Island when I learned the news. I was sick to my stomach knowing, the people who’d gone out of their way to ensure I was so well looked after, had come into harms way. I will always hold a special place in my heart for the smoggy, spicy city that felt not unlike the Thai mother I never had.
I keep convincing Chrissy that I need to book her a holiday too. While she sounds excited at the thought in theory, I know I’ve a challenge and mission on my hands. Maybe we need to start a go Fund Me, I’ll book it and just kidnap her. Can you just imagine?
Get out there and enjoy you crazy kids. My biggest regret, I wish I’d started sooner!
Marissa
