Have you ever been accused of being too emotional by your boss or colleagues?
Have you ever had a potential client ask to speak to your husband or chat to the man in charge?
Have you ever felt your co-workers jeer or make lude comments behind your back?
Have you ever been told to “cheer up” or smile more?
Have you ever been passed over for a promotion you think you deserved in favour of a dude?
Have you ever felt patronised, belittled or down right infuriated?
We have. And chances are that if you’re a woman with a fair amount of professional work experience you can relate to at least one of the above.
We’re not suggesting that men are our enemies. Far from it. We know them we love them we raise them. But we can’t expect behaviours to change without speaking out and drawing attention to the daily indignities and routine frustrations faced by women in the modern workplace.
We know what you’re thinking, it’s 2020 and much like dial up internet, cassette players and shoulder pads, surely sexism and workplace discrimination is something that belongs in the past? Well we’re afraid to report that no, although some laws may have changed, social attitudes are not quite as easy to repeal.
In the lead-up to International Women’s Day and in the spirit of sisterhood we thought it prudent to concentrate on our own little corner of the universe and chat to some fabulous ladies as we try to understand the challenges faced by the wonderful working women of Australia.
We spoke to a group of women across different industries to ask about their experience of sexism in the workplace. The good the bad and the ugly, we asked for their stories and they delivered.
Kate Crocker a legal writer and former lawyer who now operates her own copywriting business told us her experience.
“I worked as a lawyer in a couple of private legal firms. In one, the culture was good as the female partners (unusually) almost equalled the number of male partners. But the clients were sometimes difficult. I had clients who wouldn’t listen to my advice but accepted the same advice from my male boss. When attending court, there were senior male lawyers (representing the opposing side) who would make dirty jokes within earshot. It seemed tactical. When I got engaged, I was working in a Melbourne firm with a male dominated partnership. When I told them I was engaged, their response was that I was just interested in getting married and having children. At the time, I’d worked hard for YEARS to get through uni and I was trying to establish my career. What I was interested in was my career.”
Cal Chikwendu A former public servant and now writer extraordinaire told us that her professional capabilities were also called into question because of her gender
“When I was in my 20s and working in Government -I set up a Young Peoples project where I brought lots of organisations together to provide services to young people (eg. housing, sexual health, education) and renovated an old shop front business to be a safe space for the young people – when I asked the Head of the Youth Service to be involved he laughed at me and said “what makes you think a young bird like you can achieve something like this!!! We’ve (2 guys) have had 4 serious attempts and it can’t be done so a bird can’t achieve it!!!” – On the same project I arranged to meet the architect at the shop about the refurb but when I walked in he held up his hand and said “no you can’t come in here. I’m waiting to meet a guy from the NHS” – you should’ve seen his face when I told him it was me!
It’s worth mentioning that the program Cal established is still going strong 20 something years later!
Chrissy, our venerable leader here at Creative Little Soul is certainly no stranger when it comes to dealing with general male douchbagery
“During meetings, I’ve been shut down because when I’ve expressed my passion about something. I’ve been shot with “oh ignore her she’s just got her period.” My favourite was when there was a group management / team building day, and as the only female department head in the company I wasn’t invited. When I called them out on it they said but “oh it’s a boy’s day” I likely wouldn’t have gone but it would have been nice to be considered, being that I was part of the company and in a management role at that time. Shortly after that, I left and started CLS. One of the best things I did, but man have I dealt with some big (and small) d*#$k energy over the years and even still now“.
Some of the woman we contacted mentioned that they only experienced sexism or workplace limitations after having children. This is both depressing and unsurprising for a number of reasons.
Despite what some may say, men and women do not operate on an equal playing field.
Historically men have not been denied access or participation in any organisation, institution or workplace because of their gender. Women on the other hand have been largely excluded from participating fully in public and political life since before the time of Christ!
Up until the 1970s women working for the Australian civil service were immediately dismissed as soon as they got married. Marriage and a career, or more specifically children and a career (because what is marriage If not a natural prerequisite for procreation) were deemed incompatible. As far as the social and legal hierarchy of the day was concerned, a woman could either service the needs of her family or engage in paid labour, but she could not do both. Careers were for men. Unfortunately, it is apparent that this attitude has not vanished, rather it has manifested in insidious ways.
Yes, women have risen up through the ranks to become doctors, lawyers and heads of state, but the popular expectation around women being the primary caregivers of children remains.
Whether or not a young woman plans on having children may seem like a deeply personal decision, but business owners and HR departments have long considered it their prerogative to ask prospective female employees about what they plan to do with their own uterus.
“I’ve been asked when interviewed for a job in the past if I was intending to have children anytime soon because they didn’t want to invest into someone who was going to leave”. – Chrissy
This is a question no man is ever asked. His reproductive decisions are not deemed pertinent in assessing his competency. Women are not held to the same standard. Indeed, it does not seem to occur to such individuals that some of the most renowned, successful and accomplished women in the world were also mothers.
Nevertheless, it is a sad reality that often the earning potential of a woman takes a sharp and precipitous nosedive after she decides to have children.
Whether by choice, pressure of societal expectations, engrained cultural assumptions or simple circumstance, many women after becoming mothers may be more inclined to engage in part time or casual work. Yet for women of considerable skill, education and experience, finding a job that offers flexibility in hours can be an almost impossible task.
Joanna, who worked in tertiary education told us the disappointment surrounding the lack of flexible job opportunities and the stunted career advancement she experienced as a result.
“Frustratingly, most part-time jobs were pitched as ‘perfect for graduates or return-to-work parents’ (‘Mums’ in some job ads). So 15+ years of skills and experience were peeled back to mostly entry-level roles. And most of these were in admin, which wasn’t really my skill set.”
Others also mentioned that they were made to feel uncomfortable and noticed a difference in the way their colleagues treated them after having kids.
“I remember when breast feeding, having to pump at work. I was helpfully provided a discreet, small room to sit, in my breaks and do so. Really great company to work for. But every time I went in there, I’d get jeers from the males I walked past. it was weird and creepy and immature”. – Karina
This is nothing new. There has been a slew of research that suggests the gender pay gap could more accurately be described – not as the difference in earning potential between men and women, but between women who are caregivers and everyone else.
It’s no coincidence that in Finland, one of the countries where women are just as likely as men to work outside of the home, offers generous state backed paternity leave. Perhaps some pollies are right here? We really do have something to learn from those Scandinavian countries and their seemingly unusual social policies. Because when child care is considered the equal responsibility of both parents and employment policies reflect this, a more equitable work environment and culture subsequently ensues.
Despite what some are led to believe, women aren’t asking for much. Contrary to popular belief no self-identified feminist as ever argued for world domination or the subjugation of men, but simply to have access to the same opportunities’ men have been granted for thousands of years.
Women who express emotion are not unstable. Exercising one’s right to speak and be heard doesn’t make one unfit. These are tropes men have used to control women and it is time to call them out for what they are. Bullshit. We welcome men to judge us on our experience, skills and education but our bodies and uterus’s are frankly no-one’s business but our own. Give that a think..
In this spirit of sisterhood, we welcome you to share your story because speaking out is the first step towards change.
Have you ever experienced work place discrimination or limitations due to your gender? Drop us a comment and let’s make it so we don’t need a “day” for these conversations to put a spotlight on things, but that we are all treated as equals all the time!!
About Claire Poulton:
Claire is one of the word wizards here at CLS and whips up content, copy, edits and is all across all things social media. She has a background in Journalism and Digital Marketing and is currently completing a Master’s Degree in International Relations with a Specialisation in Social Research. She loves puns, drinking wine and travel and is our “other” Claire here at CLS lol.
Edited by Erica Louise & Chrissy Symeonakis